Setting a boundery regarding OM backfired before. It made me look like an a$$ and she fled to the OM

Define boundary for me. Why does looking like an A$$ bother you? You have no esteem issues. Where is you W fleeing to now? Who is she running from with all her might? Why?

Women do find me attractive. I only know of one woman who doesn't.

Do you think these women would find you atrractice after you talk to them about how your wife treats you and your response? There is a reason your wife isn't attracted to you. Look at your behavior, what have you been doing while she is having an affair right in front of you? Do you think she would act the same way?

You can lead or be the victim. You get to decide. Don't believe the concept that this has to take a long time to turn around. Time and patience are two different things. Your wife really wants you to stand up to and for her. A predator is attacking your family, think thru what your wife really needs from her man.

M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.