It's OK Pickle. I don't feel beat up. I have to say what I feel and stand for what I believe.
You are all correct when you say that I have no idea how I would act if she told me she decided to go with OM after all these positives.
But I set the ultimatum a few months ago with W and I believe that I could not live with OM in W's life. Keep in mind the following:
1. OM is single 2. OM is 32 (W is 39) 3. OM is good looking 4. OM is a professional 5. OM lives close
Now, if you were to ask me if OM would stay with my W long term, I don't believe he would. She is older, has kids, can't have any more, does not work full time (I am not putting her down, but from the prospective of a 32 year old man, I'm sure he does not want to support her (speculation)). And if he does, good luck to them...
But that does not mean he would not visit the candy store. She looks good. And he would partake.
So, all that said, if W chooses OM, she can leave the bedroom, move out, support herself. She will not eat the cake that I purchase and share that cake with OM. She can purchase her own cake or he can purchase it for her (until HE gets sick of it).
They can choke on it for all I care!
I know I have a hard line approach but realize this; I am of the opinion that we are BOTH to blame for our failed marriage. NOT just me. So she DOES NOT have a right to disrespect me, to cheat, to see OM. I admit to my faults but she has them too. This is an even playing field.
Unpopular it may be, but I'm not here to be popular...
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012