I stopped pursuing after reading DR in October/November.
I have been about as detached as I can get with W still in the same house.
I have been GALing as far as taking care of my own "fun" so to speak.
180's are more subtle things like not complaining about her spending and doing more fun stuff with the kids, but nothing that's going to appear fake. I'm not going to go 180 if it's not genuine.
I don't see her missing me at all while still living together and she's texting and calling OM it seems every spare minute from the phone records. She does not know I've seen the records.
Neither one of us can afford to move out and neither one of us wants to be away from kids or disrupt their lives. I wouldn't want to be accused of abandonment if D ever happens.
So that in a nutshell is why I am in waiting mode.
The long distance EA with exH will either grow or fizzle, neither of which I have any control of. If she really wants the D, she'll have to initiate legal action.
Today's her B-day and though I did say HB this morning, I did not even get her a card (technically). I did get one for the kids to sign and give her. I made myself go to the bathroom when she opened it. I don't think that's pursuing.
And no I have not come up with any other plan. Still wondering what to do (or not do).
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."