Hey All

Its been a long time.. First let me tell ya that I GRADUATE in two weeks January 17th. Ya cap and gown and the works...
Guess now I need to start looking for a job..
As most of you know I have come a long way. Things are mostly great right now. There is that Elephant in the room that we dont talk about and I feel that until we do acknowledge it will NOT go away in my mind.
As they say in the song Every rose has its thorns
Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar remains
This is a NEW year and I want to start out with a clean slateMy wife says things and sometimes things just happen that trigger old memories that hurt. Some of these memories trigger thoughts that If I said them as statements I may make would sound like a smart a$$ statement if said when they occurred.
What I am planning on doing is getting them OUT OF MY SYSTEM. I want to sit down with my wife and just tell her how some things make me feel. How when certain things are said what thoughts pop out in my mind.
I am NOT asking her to respond to these statements I just what her to know what demons I am dealing with. I know it in MY issue I need to overcome but I do believe that if things are going to work out we need to be open to each other. WE need to try to understand what the other is dealing with in our lives.
Just like if she or I had cancer or some illness. I would want to let her know how I feel and I would want t her to let me know how she feels.
I think once I get these thoughts/feelings out in the open...AND NOT dwell on them it will be a releife for me and I can move on.
Any thoughts? Will this make me look weak?


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know