Her money quote last night was "Why can't we just have a normal conversation?"
...Do you know what a normal conversation is? Your wife has given you big hints.
Your wife wants to know all about you (intomesee). Work, family, hobbies, friends, goals, plans, travel, fun, kids, ideas, stories, exercise, health, spiritual, what you are learning - get it? You want affection then give her what she needs. Let her in to your life. It works.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time