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After Retrouvaille we became very close and were on a high that would be short lived but we kept on going knowing there were better days ahead. We learned to express our feeling more and it helped her out so much. I was happy, she was becoming happy and life was getting better and better.

Then last night after our session I made a comment to her about my trust toward her and she dropped the bomb. It took A LOT for her to finally say it but she did her exact words were "It was more than just emotional...there were a couple times where it became physical."

My W explained that at the time she thought only of me as a jerk and she never expected for me to change the way I did so she was selfish and only cared about her feelings.

I feel like trash, like the rebound. Her dreams fell through with him and now I am the next best thing.

My W also admitted to being a bitch on purpose even up till last night because she wanted me to feel her pain. Now after she told me this she has done a 180 and is very clingy and "wanting to do whatever it takes"...


Originally Posted By: Allen A
You've made it...

You never thought you would get here many months ago... You had NO CONFIDENCE and we all told you to keep at it and things would improve.

You kept at it...

You did the work and you've MADE it...

Don't waste ONE more MINUTE on this destructive wavering...

Your wife wavers and has doubts and wastes time, now YOU do it... Soon YOU will be committed and SHE won't be... She will feel you didn't turn to her when she was "clingy" so she looked elsewhere... AGAIN...

STOP the wavering and doubts.. ENJOY a committed marriage again... Don't waste another moment in limbo if you don't have to... It's all silly and we have all done it and wasted countless months doing so... Some of us even strayed during that wavering time...

Turn to your wife, give your commitment 100% and enjoy a marriage saved.

You earned it.


Originally Posted By: Allen A
...Chapter 4 and Chapter 6 of Not Just Friends are excellent resources on working through this pain. I won't repeat what they have said here, I can't do it justice.

You do need to focus on the positives at this time. You wanted your marriage and it sounds like your wife has come down from her anger cloud and does want to work with you.

This is your ultimate test my friend. Don't give up on her now.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time