You can, however, occasionally land little "truth darts," to some effect. Some examples that I used:
-I will not hide your affair. -I will not financially support your affair. -It's your mess, you clean it up. -Send her an email with STD statistics, no other comments. -Secrets kill marriages. -You are being played. - Your current behavior is not helping the children. - "No contact" means "no contact". Working in close quarters with someone who's admitted being attracted to you, and vice-versa, is inappropriate in a HEALTHY marriage. It's absolutely DESTRUCTIVE in one that's on the rocks! - How will you be able to counsel your daughters one day if they're having problems? To cut and run? To have an affair? - You are placing your friend before your husband, and your friendship before your marriage. - Forget ME for a moment; you are not going to like yourself someday if you keep going down this path. - (S14) and (S10) need you more than ever.
IF SHE TRIES "R" TALK:
DON'T argue past points with her. Simply state the truth of today.
- She is having an affair.
- It is impossible to analyze issues with the marriage as along as she is having an affair.
- You can't analyze a relationship where one partner is making unilateral decisions to bring a third person into the relationship.
- Betrayal is an intensely painful action for one person to inflict on another.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time