I think the #1 topic for WAW's to give fight is "You've invaded my privacy.....and we're just friends". Isn't it crazy how she can turn the truth around and have you doubting it? That is her "out" for now....making you the bad guy in the M.
You cannot afford to be passive with her behavior and lack of disrespect. Contacting this OM, especially after he stated his feelings, is total disrespect toward her H. This must be your first boundary.
It's all about respect and attraction. She has lost respect for you aNd she is no longer attracted to you. So,what can you do to change that? What can you do immediately?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712