Originally Posted By: Allen A
Let me put it this way...

Children do the same stuff :
a. They get scared
b. They escape into trouble - hang out with the wrong people
c. They get caught
d. They stone wall you with rationalizations and excuses
e. They resist help and change for the better
f. They say hurtful things, yell, thrash, and even throw things

PARENTS don't get involved in that drama... When a child yells at their parent the parent has control... they stand there with arms folded waiting for the child to calm down and cooperate...

You need to learn to look at your wife like a frightened child right now ... Parents don't get into shouting matches with their kids... well, they shouldn't at least...

I hope that gives you some perspective...

There's an instinct built over years of being with your spouse... cooperation... You try to reason with them, keep them in the loop, talk, negotiate... you KNOW you two are stronger together than separate so you immediately offer that up...

Your SPOUSE is NOT ready for that kind of thing... you need to back up and accept them as a rebellious child right now ... and parents don't reason with children who are angry and destructive... they bring consequences down in the child until the child starts to reason again...

Parents don't put up with their kids crap... Don't you take any from your wife either.

Call her on it, reasonably, like a parent would a child when they know their kids lying to them... you call them on it, correct it, and invite them again to calm down...

It's a matter of shifting your marital gears until the addiction is free of them and they have some hope again...

These waywards know their excuses don't fly... if nothing else when they try to throw these excuses at you... just say

"No"

And wait



"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time