...You will read that this is counter-intuitive. It should really be taken a step further; It will "feel" wrong when you are doing it right.
I still have some trouble with it myself and I've been here long enough to know better. Don't worry about her moods, if she's mad, cranky or whatever. It's hard to do, no doubt. However, you must ignore her sh!tty behavior while doing what you must do to grow and improve yourself.
Read all that you can and notice all of the situations share a lot of common threads, lack of communication is chief among them. She will make it all your fault. It's not. Look what it took for people to turn things around. Don't wait too long to do the hard work of letting her go. Letting go doesn't mean it's over, it means that you accept that your old M is over and it's time to move on to something else. Hopefully a new, better M where you both take responsibility for each of your parts in the M that drove you apart.
Again, read, learn and be prepared to do some really difficult things that seem the complete opposite of what you feel like you should be doing.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time