This article has popped up several times today on this thread. I just don't see it as being in conflict with true exposure. The article suggests that constantly telling your family about your marital problems or whining to them about how bad your spouse is will damage your chances of reuniting. I actually agree. What this article is addressing is called gossip and that is damaging no matter what kind of relationship it is.
However, true exposure is very different from what this article is talking about. It does not come from a place of "getting back" at the spouse. It is designed to bring the secrets into the light. Affairs thrive in secrecy. When the bright light is shined on them, most of them can't take the stress of reality and the marriage then has a chance of healing.
We can debate about how, when, to whom, etc but exposure does work. I used a limited form of exposure in my sitch and it definitely worked. I would not have been able to put my marriage back together if I hadn't done it.
There are some on this board who are such strong advocates of their positions for or against that they cannot tolerate other opinions. I hope that everyone can learn from all the recent discussion and stop the personal attacks. We all have the same goal in mind. We just have different ways of achieving it.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time