Absolutely you have influence. The reason people get stuck is because they feel hopeless and they grasp for straw (babysteps). You are being watched by your wives, I promise. Focus on the process not the outcome.
Get your mojo back so that you thrive regardless of the outcome. Then you will see the influence you have on those around you. The problem is you guys don't understand what woman want. What's attractive to a woman? Never lose sight of that.
Do you guys know what it takes to let go? What are you letting go of? Why is that attractive?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712