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I have a question....

I was reading some things over in the infidelity forum.

I know I made numerous mistakes and was a total basketcase when I first came here.

But I also know now in hindsight that exposing my Husband's affair to everyone backfired.

It didn't make him suddenly want to come home and reconcile.

It made him angry and hostile and only justified his reasons for leaving me.

I was hoping if any of you could post here your experiences.

Thanks so much!!


Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
It honestly worked for me, but it certainly doesn't for everyone. Affairs thrive on secrecy (and romance and intrigue), and often when you expose them, it'll IMMEDIATELY kill the affair maybe 25% of the time, in my experience. Others are more deeply entrenched, and it takes longer, and re-exposure, and re-RE-exposure. Others it will NEVER work (no one technique does).

It does pose complications, too. It will make your cheating spouse LIVID in the short-term; some get over that in a day or two, others take longer. Relationships will have to be mended once you reconcile. I personally would definitely do it again (it worked very well), but I probably wouldn't have exposed to my own family -- just my wife's, our adult children, OM's parents and their employer. But that's just me.

I think we all need to try to be respectful of each other's positions on this (and other) controversial topics, and realize that our own experiences are just that -- our experiences. What works for one doesn't work for all, and -- whenever possible -- we should back up our opinions with research whenever possible. Some of the best infidelity authors, researchers and counselors out there DO recommend this as a tactic (Harley, Glass, Spring, Tupy and others), so it's far from a screwball, fringe position.

I think this is one of those "reasonable people may disagree" things.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time