Originally Posted By: Allen A
OK, very rough draft


Clearly it's not possible to engage in discussing this in a civilized manner in person.

I am taking the time to write this out in the hopes it will clarify things for you both.

When our marriage became troubled I took the time to explore marriage therapy, do research, and invite you Mrs. QS to do the same.

You Mrs QS chose to refuse.

I gave you an opportunity to explore counseling and you took that offer and threw it away.

When you filed for divorce I gave you the opportunity to live here respectfully with each other until our divorce was final.

I gave you an opportunity to live here and you took that offer and chose to commit adultery with online sex chats and phone sex with a married man in secret.

I gave and you took.

Our marriage had problems like any other. I took ownership of my 50% like a mature adult. I am willing to own my half of the problems with our marriage and accept that and a divorce.

What I cannot accept in good conscience is my being accused of not being generous or cooperative.

Each step outlined above is your choice made to drive conflict to its peak and make an otherwise civil divorce ugly. I will not have an ugly divorce.

You turned down counseling, you filed for divorce, you committed adultery with a married man, and when I stood up for myself against these insults you chose to move out.

You made your bed my dear and I am afraid you will have to lie in it.

I gave many chances - many chances - and you took those chances and offered abuse in return.

I will not be disrespected or abused any further.

I will live in the home I have lived in and I will not be forced to move elsewhere by bullying or lies any further.

I gave, and you took. I am giving no more.

I will live in my home. I will live the lifestyle I choose to live.

I gave an offer of counseling, I gave an offer of monogamous commitment until the divorce was final, I gave and you took and I will give no more.

I will not have an ugly divorce. If you want that then go have it elsewhere.

My commitments to you, you forfeited. I gave and you took.

I am living in my home and I will live there the way I chose to.

The home will be clean, maintained, and even improved for the chance of sale in the future. Until such time I will live there and I will live the life I chose to - a healthy honest life. A life free of your lies, free of your cheating, and free of your temper.

Should you chose to visit you will visit between the hours of 10 am and 8 pm and you will make a 24 hour notice beforehand.

When you visit you will be polite, you will be honest, and you will control your temper or you will be asked to leave.

You are more than welcome to view the home to ensure it is maintained, but I will not allow you to dictate my lifestyle to me... Mine has been thus far much healthier, constructive, and honest than yours.



"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time