To all those still struggling with a wayward spouse, 8 things I've learned....
1) It's not about you or anything you've done. Way-wards will justify and rationalize EVERYTHING to make what they're doing someone elses fault. Own your own chit that contributed to the marriage breakdown, because we all have chit we can work on, but NEVER take responsibility for your spouses A. That's all on them. 2) Never take ANYTHING your wayward spouse says to or about you personally. They really are in an F'd up place. 3) The A MUST end before your marriage has a chance, and rarely does the little bo peep method work. 4) Once the A ends, more compassion and patience than you ever knew were possible will be required to save your marriage. 5) Once the A ends and waywards begin to come out of the fog, they have their own he** to deal with. 6) Do NOT hold it over their heads forever. It only leads to road bumps in your marriage recovery. 7) Your marriage can be saved. Some can not, but some can. And NO ONE will blame you if YOU decide to call it quits if your spouse has cheated on you. Some people can't get over it even with a repentant spouse. 8) If you're one of the lucky ones to save your marriage, don't ever take your spouse for granted. A second chance is a gift. Mine was within days of a divorce being filed, and here we are today talking about retirement and our future grand-kids and ML multiple times a week.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time