hi gb,

there is a veteran in here that goes by coach. he gives out excellent advice. however, he often talks about the stockdale paradox. i suggest you search and read about it. i would link to it, but i am currently on my phone. anyway, it is about maintaining hope while handling you current reality. it is great inspiration for db'ing.

it is why it is good to see a lawyer; it is a way to handle your current situation. but it does not mean you are giving up on your future. the paradox is that you can do both simultaneously. in fact, by moving your situation forward, they are often complementary.

good luck,

Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1