...This is the point of the "ignore 100% of what they say and 50% of what they do" guideline... If you get too focused on their reaction then you will be allowing THEIR responses drive your actions... you don't want in that cycle its death in slow motion
BREAK the cycle by just doing what you should be doing with blinders on to him unless he breaks a boundary...
It's ok to watch him and such, but don't let it get to a point where it will impact your motivation or you are dead in the water...
Your choices are NOT dictated at ALL by his actions... Just do it...
Monitor for boundaries along the way, but as long as he's not veering from the boundaries then give him time to process...
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712