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Every aspect of our personality that made us mates (attentiveness, affection, reading moods, caring about their happiness) are the things that we need to harness and withhold. Add to that that they know (or even unconsciously know) what buttons to push to manipulate emotions like anger, concern, pity etc. And it requires intense self awareness and control to avoid the misstep.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712