The trick if no 3rd party is involved is to teach yourself the 4 steps of listening.
1. Shut up and listen!! Don't interrupt. 2. Mirroring - Repeat back to them what they are saying. "So I hear you saying...." 3. Validate - "I can understand why you would feel like that..." 4. Empathy - "Now that you say it like that I would have felt the same way..."
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712