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SAHDs have a particular challenge when it comes to attraction, as it's very easy for your wife to see you as the female in the relationship. Fairly or unfairly, this topic of "gender confusion" has been discussed wildly on this forum, and of course written about, and the women will tell you this is true.
I understand the SAHD is a career decision you guys have probably made, but why is your wife doing the outside chores, while you are doing laundry and dishes and such?
If I were you, I would try to look for things that you can INITIATE (don't wait for her to ask her, nor chime in to help her when she initiates a chore), in the way of home improvement or yard projects.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712