I'm just not very good at dodging those questions gracefully. I don't know how to respond to those without making her angry.
You begin by rejecting your own premise
Whether or not your response makes her angry has to become completely irrelevant to your way-of-thinking. Or at least, SECONDARY to the far-overriding factor of "Is this The Right Thing to Do in this situation?" Until you LOSE THE FEAR that your responses will "make her angry," you will NEVER get anywhere.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time