I think the term "hard approach" is not always what people think. Give her a divorce and get a fair settlement. All that means is the legal part of your marriage has been dissolved. If she is not BS'ing you then she will get C'ing without your prompting and will want to get to know you again. If she is full of crap then at least the business side of things will be settled and you can go from there.
This made me see that this might work the best for me.