I know exactly how I got her. I was very affectionate; emailed/texted cute nothings all the time; spent lots of time doing nothing with her (TV, movies- quality time LL)...
But the ATTITUDE behind this stuff is the "essence" and a core to which you need to return. YOU will be happier that you did, and at SOME point, I guarantee you that your wife WILL notice this stuff. It may be when OM dumps her ass, or it may be the day after your divorce is final. It may be three weeks from now or it may be two YEARS from now. But you DID attract her once, and there's a reason for that, and her brain will NOT always be closed to you chemically.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time