This IS a business transaction at this point, sadly, and you have to "always be in the superior knowledge position," as my brother likes to say.
As for this:
I talked to W briefly today about the vacation $ and mentioned that this is going to ruin both of us financially. She again said that this isn't about the $, so maybe she will be reasonable. Who knows.
YOU NEED TO CUT THIS KIND OF THINKING NOW, cuz this is what got you to this horrible place. YOUR WIFE, SADLY, IS YOUR ADVERSARY RIGHT NOW. There's a reason they put that little "v" between the names of the parties! These conversations have no place; you need to think of yourself as a JUDGE, and picture yourself saying to your wife "We really shouldn't be having this conversation right now, this is ex parte" (or whatever it is they call it.
You need to lawyer up and self-research up. As the Good Book says, "There is wisdom in many counselors." I'm not sure if the breakdown is your atty or you or some combination, but I'd strongly advise strengthening at least ONE (if not both) links in that two-link chain before going in next time for permanent decisions.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time