Originally Posted By: Greek
having a difficult time digesting the rest of Greek's post. it is very different from what other's suggest.

I'm going to call you out on that. Read the following quotes from your other threads:

Several people I respect have given you sound advice, yet you still complain that there's nothing about/for women specifically. It seems to me that you're looking for someone to tell you exactly what to do to make your H see the error of his ways and come running home.

There are no guarantees. Some people save their Rs, some people don't. The successful DBer is someone who has recognized their faults and mistakes, works hard at improving her/himself and does things to make her/himself happy so that the next R is a good one.

Drop the rope (no, you really haven't) and stop worrying about why H does anything. Do the work on yourself and make yourself happy.

I think dropping the rope might work because it appears to be the one thing you haven't truly tried yet.

Dropping the rope is something which an emotionally healthy individual does when faced with a R with someone who does not want to be with them. People aren't possessions. They aren't ours to push and control in one direction or another. One of the common threads I see on this board is most of us are codependent and have an unhealthy and distorted sense of R. I once created a post asking how many people came from alcoholic homes and quickly got quite a few responses.

Dropping the rope is healthy for YOU. When you use it as a tactic to get something you want it will probably backfire. Just my opinion based on my own experience with attempting to control people/places/things.

That principle is that you should be REJECTING a man who doesn't treat you right and walks away from you. This is the same for men as it is for women. It shows low self esteem to keep trying to get a person to come back to you that says and shows they want out.

THAT type of self esteem is what is POSSIBLY the beginning of getting them back. START THERE... Instead of asking us things like you keep asking, you should be sayin "I don't want to be with ANY man who doesn't want me and show me he wants me"..

These are posts to you from 4 other posters here who have suggested the same thing I did and have before. There are many more like it - these took about 2 seconds to find. Didn't even have to dig for them. For you to claim that you now have to process what I wrote to you b/c it was a 2x4 (which it is) and DIFFERENT from what you are getting from others (which it is not) is simply sticking your head in the sand (which you are free to do) ~~~ but call it what it is.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712