How much control does any of of us have over another person? You can take lots of productive action for yourself and your family. Protect your finances and emotional well-being. Know your legal rights. Use your spiritual side. Be loving to yourself, kids, family and your WAS. Be a person of high character, values and morals. Set personal, legal, moral boundaries and enforce them. Become the best person you can in a tough environment - thrive.
I think fear is the biggest enemy of any DBer. The solution is to "love yourself." All the DB techniques and good advice here boils down to that concept. It's very attractive as well. How confident do you look when you accept that you are already dead (divorced)? It's not that you don't want to survive but that you accept that you don't control the outcome but will do whatever the situation calls for without hesitation. You have to be prepared - understand how the game is played and know what works given the situation. Do you want to go up against a prepared, disciplined, able, strong, and determined opponent? Who would you follow? Lead your family.
"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time