Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Originally Posted By: This Sucks
My question is, ...HOW can I let him know that I either want to work on the marriage or divorce (no separating) without him getting mad/defensive.
I don't accept your premise

Whether or not he gets "mad/defensive" should have absolutely NO bearing on what your decision-making is.

If I could give you ONE PIECE of advice for DBing, it would be this:

Stop operating from a position of "What will he do if I do/say thus-and-such? Will he be angry? How will his reaction make ME feel?"

and instead, learn to operate from a basis of:

What is THE RIGHT THING TO DO in this situation? What is the thing that God Himself would have me do, if He were standing right in front of me?

Until you do that . . . you will get nowhere.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712