I too used to cry out to God, in the middle of the night sometimes, "Why aren't you answering my prayers??!" I was in a 20-year sex-starved marriage, and as a man with a very high need for affection and physical touch, it was absolutely KILLING me.
"Change my wife's heart," I pleaded.
"Soften her heart towards me," I wailed.
"Holy Spirit, please move upon her heart and make her see how much I'm hurting," I cried.
Well, God had other plans for me, and for us, and they were different from what I thought they should be. Now, looking back, I can see how much I needed to grow, and strengthen. HE knew that, but I thought I knew better.
We often pray for a magic wand, NB, but God more often than not gives us a trowel. It's in the day-to-day little "digging" that we usually find ourselves, and grow stronger.
Pray for wisdom, and for CLARITY. And then pray for COURAGE, to do the right thing.
My understanding is that changing the focus of your prayers inward works the best....
My wife said she prayed for years for me to change....It took awhile, but her prayers have been answered.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712