Allen A GOOD STATEMENTS For SCRIPT TO WAS:

Stop. We both know you're lying. If that's all you have then I have more important things to attend to. Please excuse me...
Get up to leave...


Puppies classic: I have decided I will no longer lie to cover up your infidelity and destructive behavior.

When you say one thing and do other I have no choice but to protect this family by verifying your claims... Which did indeed turn out as suspected - LIES

Originally Posted By: CD Bear
Rationalization/re-write "I understand your viewpoint. Thank you for sharing. Please know I see it differently"
But if there is any lying do NOT say Thank you

Originally Posted By: CD Bear
If the M comes up as part of it "I understand your view. We have had that argument before. It was not constructive and I know now that you can't talk your way to a better marriage. That requires effort; understanding and action. We did none of these"
Our marriage has problems outside of your infidelity. Your choice of response to those problems is to make them WORSE by introducing an interloper to cause a great deal of stress and damage to your reputation, my commitment, and your daughter's well being. Marital problems need to be met with solutions - not lies and cheating.

Your choice - continue cheating and make things worse, or end the cheating and make things better.

The ball's in your court there. Continue cheating and hurting your own children OR make a commitment to solve the problem constructively.


Originally Posted By: CD Bear
Blame game -"I now know that our marriage wasn't working for either of us and I completely accept my half of the responsibility for that and am sorry for the hurt it caused you. "
I now know that our marriage wasn't satisfactory for you or me. I completely accept my half of the responsibility for that and am sorry for the hurt it caused you. The other half, and your subsequent affair to aggravate those problems is all on you.

OR

I am willing to take ownership of my HALF of our marital problems UP TO the affair. The other 50% of the marital problem and this hurtful affair is ALL YOURS.


Originally Posted By: CD Bear
The hopelessness of our M/feelings justify A
"It is clear now that we both needed to either agree and work together to completely rebuild our M or it would end. I firmly believe a rebuild was possible but your choices took that option away from me.
We both needed to either work together to rebuild our Marriage or work competitively to destroy each other and our daughter. You made a choice to destroy the marriage instead of repairing it. You chose to drag out daughter through a sleazy affair instead of picking up the phone to call a family therapist or anyone.. anyone instead of going to him and hurting your own family like this.

Originally Posted By: CD Bear
If the guilt leads her to "friend street", I will kindly decline and say "Perhaps one day we can, but not now"
I cannot allow you to treat me or your daughter like this. Friends do not lie, cheat on, and abandon their friends.

You are no friend to me or your daughter right now - you are just lying and doing a world of damage you will one day be ashamed of. One day you will have to look our daughter in the eye and she will tell you how horrible you've been. That day you will be the most ashamed mother on the planet.

You must be very proud.


Originally Posted By: CD Bear
"Then all I have to say is this. I will not live in an open marriage. I will not hide your lies or affair. They are disrespectful. I will send you info on a few mediators I have looked into. XXX is the best choice. I will set an appointment for as early in August as possible to finalize up our Separation Agreement. I should have all my banking and documentation gathered by then. You should, too.
Divorce is my last option. It is clear that it is your first and easiest. What you are doing to this family is selfish and irresponsible. But if this is your decision, then you will own the consequences.

I have to go out. See you later."
I will not live in an open marriage. Our daughter will not live in an open marriage. I will not hide your lies or affair. They are disrespectful to me and your daughter, and even to you. A mediator of my choice will be in contact with you very shortly. I will set an appointment as soon as possible to finalize the Separation Agreement. Have all your banking and documentation gathered by then for legal review.

You have a choice to help your family, or destroy it. What you are doing to this family is selfish and irresponsible. But if this is your decision, then you will own the consequences and myself and our daughter will be as far from it as we can get and we won't be looking back.

I have things to do that are a lot more important than listening to your excuses.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time