Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Originally Posted By: Optimust
How do you know when the ignoring them is working?
"Going dark" is not "ignoring them," nor is MWD's concept of "detachment."

And you don't do it so it "works," you do it because it's healthier for YOU to detach yourself from their destructive outcomes.

The best way I had someone describe it to me once is, "You should walk down the path, always shining a light back towards your marraige, but walking on nonetheless. Do NOT constantly look back over your shoulder to see if she is following you! If you do that, it's really just "pursuing" (albeit from the front, rather than behind).

Rather, every once in awhile, stop along your path to rest, and PEEK to see if she is following you. If she is, smile and move on, resuming your walk and content to know that you are having some effect. And if she NOT, smile and move on anyway, knowing that what you are doing is best for YOU."

A wayward wife is like a watched pot. It's never going to boil if you watch it.


Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time

Being happy alone and "living" each day is key. Be a role model to your WAS.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time