The battle YOU need to win is NOT CARING if she does.
You need to be able to look in the mirror and say: "I deserve better than this. If SHE resorts to THAT LEVEL of disrespect then she doesn't deserve me"
I am sure there are at least a dozen women in your area who would NOT resort to this sort of thing in a crisis...
That's the MOST IMPORTANT thing in a mate, it isn't how big her boobs are or how wild she gets in bed... It's how mature they are in a crisis that's most important.
In this respect your wife's probably looking pretty ugly right now.
You need to be in a place emotionally where you can say "I am OK with things going either way... I will be fine"
Once I DID that, that's when my wife actually started to turn around...
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712