I think Greek & Gucci are 100% correct. Get there first, sit where you want. That way it's not an issue. How are you with you ILs?
As for the letter, again they are right on the nose. We women can read anything into anything, and the fact that you take time to right a letter speaks volumes. Much more than what the actual letter might say. Doing nothing translates into feeling nothing.
I know you'd already decided against it, I just put that out there in case you start to revisit the idea.
I have to say from a woman's POV, it's a good sign if your friend's wives are trying to set you up with their friends. I would never try to set my friends up with a loser, so they must hold you in some pretty high regard. Keep remembering that when W's actions start to get to you.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.