Mr. Bond,

I am going to have to respectfully disagree... how can any of us be "all in 100%" when reconciling after infidelity? In reality, we may agree to a reconciliation and it may appear we are all in, but we will reserve a part of our heart and maintain our doubts until trust is re-established and our fears subside.

Pearl,

As much as you love your BF, as much as you had invested in him and the R over the years... you have had serious questions of long term compatibility that are valid. Healing from infidelity makes those things even more pronounced, IMHO.

I am guessing it is common to revert back to old patterns... I am very concious of watching that in my M. But, the work it takes to keep addressing that and continuing to break out of those patterns... you have to really WANT this R to do that work. You say you are tired... of course you are. You have worked your A$# off to restore this R. The question is, do you WANT to keep doing that work?

Wait til you are feeling better and see if you are still feeling the same way.

((hugs)) You've been through a lot and you my support no matter what you decide.