Maybe it's because I'm sick. Last night I just came to the realization that it's not going to work with BF. We have reverted to old behaviors and neither one of us is budging. We no longer have any R talks of any kind. I can feel that he's upset with me about things but will not speak up. I refuse to constantly be the one to start the dialog and always be the one to caretake the relationship. I know, something has to give. But I'm tired of giving. I'm just tired.
Things are comfortable. And stable. And nice. And I have gotten so used to being taken care of that I'm too lazy to get off my ass and take care of myself.
Reading newcomer stories make me incredibly sad. Knowing what's going on with mindfull upsets me and I feel insecure and doubtful and wonder why I ever gave this another chance. If I had just moved forward last year and not looked back like the MC recommended.
It's been a year of piecing. And I still don't know if this is what I want.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
