Swimming against the current - PH in piecing

[pearlharbr]

Even if he doesn't have another affair, he does need to learn to speak up. Does he accept you as you are, or does he tolerate certain things because he is afraid to speak up. Maybe he does have a problem with you being lazy and spoiled and he wants the cat food spatula kept somewhere else, damnit.

That is a huge issue for me. I've been on the phone with two gfs who have talked me down off the ledge since last posting. The first one is finishing her doctorate in clinical psychology so I trust what she says. She thinks the meltdown could be physiological, either depression or hormones. I've thought about that before but then I think it's a copout for my laziness. I remember how I felt last year when I got the prescription for ADs and that was MUCH worse. Hormones could play a part in how I can go from 0-bitch in two minutes.

BFF noted that BF's spinelessness is apparent in his work life also so it's not just with me. I told her that I wish he would call me on my crap and she agreed. She thinks it's a sign of caring and involvement. I've brought it up before and maybe he's making small movements toward openness and I just don't acknowledge the baby steps.

I have that book and read it right after the bomb. I remember that the only sticking point for me was wondering if BF really liked me as a person. I can't remember what his one thing was, of course he was already deep in affair fog so who knows what he would think now. I've been meaning to reread it this week but just didn't get to it. I'll make it a priority next week.

After I hung up with BFF I decided to make some kind of peace for the sake of tomorrow's plans. I apologized for being pissy earlier and explained that I was very angry and needed to calm down from that and we can discuss it later. So now he just came to bed and I'd better go because I'm the one who said it's bedtime.

Thanks for being here!