That's it exactly. I go back and forth between thinking I need a man who has a backbone and won't let me get away with crap and thinking it's good that we have different temperaments because I don't know that I want a R with someone else who's argumentative and emotional.
And it is a major character flaw but no one is perfect. I'm lazy and spoiled and it affects BF's life negatively. But he's willing to accept me as I am. Or at least until he gets sick of me again and has another affair. Which he swears will never happen.
Even if he doesn't have another affair, he does need to learn to speak up. Does he accept you as you are, or does he tolerate certain things because he is afraid to speak up. Maybe he does have a problem with you being lazy and spoiled and he wants the cat food spatula kept somewhere else, damnit.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
we haven't been to MC since getting back together. Yes, I think we need to because obviously there's still work to be done. But I didn't want to waste the time and money unless/until I decided that I wanted to stay with him. Is that putting the cart before the horse?
IMO, good counseling can help identify problems and determine whether they are deal breakers or workable. I think that his avoidance is something that he can change.
BTW, there's a book called something like 'Too good to leave, too bad to stay' that can help bring some clarity.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
The immediate problem is that we're spending all day together tomorrow. We're working on the bottling crew for the local whiskey distillery in the morning then have the afternoon free since BF had to take the day off. We have dinner reservations with friends and then we're all going to a comedy show. It's supposed to be a fun day but I'm worried that I'll still be pissy and ruin it.
Well, then just stop with the pissy. The problem will still be there when you wake up Sunday morning. Enjoy yourself in the meantime.
