Swimming against the current - PH in piecing

[pearlharbr]

Thanks Dudess and avermont

BF came home and said "Why are you mad at me?" Several reasons. He says nothing and just stands there. I was still shaking and decided this was not the best time to launch into everything. I don't think I want to discuss it right now. He goes to change his clothes, I go upstairs and start bawling in the bathroom. After a little while I go back downstairs to get my computer and told him I'm probably overreacting right now so I need some space to cool off and retreat to the bedroom.

Sort of a general spinelessness.

That's it exactly. I go back and forth between thinking I need a man who has a backbone and won't let me get away with crap and thinking it's good that we have different temperaments because I don't know that I want a R with someone else who's argumentative and emotional.

And it is a major character flaw but no one is perfect. I'm lazy and spoiled and it affects BF's life negatively. But he's willing to accept me as I am. Or at least until he gets sick of me again and has another affair. Which he swears will never happen.

av, we haven't been to MC since getting back together. Yes, I think we need to because obviously there's still work to be done. But I didn't want to waste the time and money unless/until I decided that I wanted to stay with him. Is that putting the cart before the horse?

What's holding him here? He has a good job and he loves the lifestyle we have here. He likes that it's sunny all the time and he can golf, do outdoor activities and can afford to travel, go out to eat and do all the other fun things we do. He does tend to get wanderlust so I'm not sure he wants to stay here forever, but I know he's worried about moving somewhere that's super expensive and losing the standard of living.

The immediate problem is that we're spending all day together tomorrow. We're working on the bottling crew for the local whiskey distillery in the morning then have the afternoon free since BF had to take the day off. We have dinner reservations with friends and then we're all going to a comedy show. It's supposed to be a fun day but I'm worried that I'll still be pissy and ruin it.

And no worries on the kid discussion: I am not having them.