Maybe you've identified the pervasive issue with him - avoidance, easy way out, not dealing with things directly and honestly.
Here, he obviously had some big feelings about the moving to SF issue, and as you say, he does not approach. He doesn't say, "I think I'm going to have to work late tonight and I might be quite tired by dance class time, is it really important to you that we go tonight?" Also, failure to disclose pertinent info about stuff he did with OW and flirty emails from other women. Of course the biggie is - having an affair instead of talking with you about his unhappiness. Sort of a general spinelessness.
I get it Pearl. I really do.
Please take some time to cool off tonight and think things through. Seeing the OW look-alike was a big trigger. Your concerns are valid, but make your decision when you are feeling calmer.
