Hey Pearl, Just stopping by in your thread to say hello. Sounds like we have a little SF fan club and hard to believe I will be there in just over a month. Anyways, wanted to say I SO relate to your dilemna..when H and I were engaged I was having a lot of doubts ("is he the one?" "am I ready?" "what else is out there?" etc...all the stuff we've talked about)...even though life was good w him and I was getting settled into my new home/location w him, these doubts kept creeping up. I was contemplating moving back to NYC at the time. Mulled over it constantly, talked to IC, Friends, etc and got so frustrated with myself that I just did not know (i know we've talked about grass greener scenario too, etc). My friends always told me that moving would be a good test...do you miss being without him (he couldnt come right away)? and if the relationship was strong, H would then move too and i'd be in an envt where I was happier.
It sounds like w/o him you know SF is right call for you...but with him different considerations, of course. I remember feeling guilt in trying to make H move for me. Good to know where you stand w R first, I think, however if you do move and he comes shortly after you can also test how you feel out there, and how you feel without him (without breaking up).
Lots to consider I know. Hope the IC helps. It's hard to know what to do when you're confused but it sounds like you're doing all the right thinking. We can drive ourselves crazy overthinking too much though, no? What does your gut say? If you had to flip a coin and one answer was heads and the other tails, how do you immediately feel? I think you'll make the right decision for you.
Also, one thing I wanted to add was that when I often felt dis-satisfied in my M (and I did this more toward the end) I thought: 'what is it that I'm missing in my lfe?' I mean, outside of the M? Sometimes we look for M to bring utter bliss but often times there's something else that's missing entirely, or an issue w job, envt, hobbies, attitude, whatever? If you could create your life from a totally clean slate, what would you do? (you posed that to me awhile back) Is there something else that's missing? Sounds like your life is already quite full, but I know the issues can blend together a bit too (w location, job, R all things you are mulling through). For me, pro-con lists really helped.
