I went to college in SF and lived there for a total of 7 years. I just love it, I feel at home and at ease when I'm there. More urban, more culture, more water!
I went looking through my old threads to find where I started getting gucci's advice and ended up reading BF's letter to me where he asked for another chance. It was very painful and now I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. It's good to see how far we've come in the past year but I have to say there's still something that bothers me.
BF said he considers me his best friend and if I truly don't feel the same about him (I had told him that I didn't) then he would let me go and wish me well. And honestly, I'm still not sure that he is. We have a lot of history and we have a lot of fun together but I don't know if he's the right person to spend the rest of my life with. And I know that it would break his heart if I told him that.
It's been a year. Shouldn't I know this by now? Am I just prolonging the inevitable split and thus making it more painful for both of us? Or am I longing for something that isn't possible because our relationship has been forever changed? I'm not saying it isn't good. It is good. But is it good enough?
Ok, going to give myself five minutes to bawl then I need to start dinner.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
