Gambling overnight trip with friends was fun. We ran some errands then went to the sci-fi movie Sat night. Sunday we went to dim sum with friends then worked around the house. BF experimented with chili for dinner.
After dinner I brought up moving to SF. I told BF that I needed to know his thoughts about it since it will involve a drastic lifestyle change. He said he thought my mind was already made up on going. I told him that's what I want but I haven't heard anything about what he wants to do. Without that input I feel like he's going along with the plan due to guilt about moving around for his career. I don't want him to move and end up miserable because the weather is bad, the cost of living is high and golf opportunities are limited. He started tearing up but I'm not sure why. He said he'll think about it. I'll ask again on Thursday night.
Right now I have to decide what it is I really want. I don't love living in Denver but it's not terrible. I've grown accustomed to my current lifestyle: being able to go out to dinner and do fun things. Moving to SF means taking several steps backwards due to the cost. Much smaller, a lot cruddier living conditions and not much (if any!) money left over for shopping, travel or other luxuries. But it also means being in a vibrant urban atmosphere where I feel like I belong. If only I could win the lottery!!
The other hitch in all this is still wondering if BF and I can or should remain together. If we split up I definitely want to move to SF. I can stay put for the time being and see how the R works out but that could just be delaying the inevitable move. Plus it means doing the job search twice, my own personal hell. OTOH, getting a job here means saving more money for a possible move to SF which is a definite plus.
Argh! Why can't I make a decision and stick to it??
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
