I can really relate to how you are feeling. I continue to waffle back and forth mainly because trust hasn't been reestablished and because there have been incidents to question H's honesty.
I really like what Cyrena said about acting like a person who is trusting would behave and that if H is not trustworthy, that is really his issue, not mine. I will have to keep reminding myself of this - afterall, can you ever be certain that you can trust another 100%? Most of us have learned the answer to that the hard way.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz