PH, Those are all very common emotions after getting burned like we have. It's like you're hyper-vigilant to any threat.

I get that. Been there, done that, and still have those same feelings on a fairly regular basis. And I've struggled with how to deal with those emotions. Just here a few weeks ago I remember thinking to myself, ya know what? IF W would ever let herself go down that path again, I'm done. I told her probably a year ago that in this kind of sitch, she's had her one strike and this isn't baseball and she doesn't get another. So after sorting through that and realizing I'm a whole lot stronger and have regained my self esteem after the mess, that I know and she knows what the result would be if she let herself go there again so I'm just not going to waste any energy worrying about it. And it seems to have helped me relax some when she comes home from work and tells me about conversations she's had with men at work.

Don't get me wrong, there's one guy in particular that makes me nervous, especially with the comments that W says he makes about how she looks, etc, but when she tells me those things we talk about it I feel better. I'm pretty sure W get's how she let herself slide with OM and she won't let herself go there with this guy. But if there's one thing I've learned in this mess, it's you can't control anyone but yourself and your actions and if she would go there with this guy or any other guy, then there's no way I'd want to spend the rest of my life with her, so why worry about it?

Ok, I know that was quite the ramble. I hope it makes sense what I was trying to say.

Keep your chin up. It's just another of one of those mines in the mine field that we piecer's have to navigate.


Me - 49, W 49
S22 & S18
Dday 9/4/07
W claims NC 4/7/08
8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.