I often come here with a though or feeling to convey and then spend time reading the past responses to my thread and lose sight of what exactly it was that brought me here.

For now all I can say is that I have stopped the D proceedings but I am not certain I am happy about that decision. Things occassionally show a glimmer of possibility but I often find myself unaccepting of them. It's like there is a voice in my head telling me it's all a lie, he'll just revert to his old ways or find a new negative way as always. There are far too many issues that need addressing. I have too many questions that are not being answerd. In the end does it matter why well maybe it's not so much the why I want to understand it's the how, the what were you thinking or feeling when you were bahaving in x fashion.