Sandi,

Well here is an update on my sitch these past couple of days.

My W told me on Thursday that OM broke up with her because he just couldn't handle the thought of being the person who broke up her family and caused her H to file for D. My W started telling me how OM was angry with me for filing for D before I stopped her and asked if she was blaming ME for OM dumping her. She said "no" she wasn't then added that she "wasn't counting on" OM being in the picture forever. I then asked her when OM dumped her and she wouldn't tell me. What was interesting was that she didn't look me in the eye the entire time she was telling me this- which suggested to me that she was being less than truthful.

Then on Friday, we were scheduled to attend a mandatory mediation orientation seminar at the courthouse. The seminar was open to both petitioners (me) and respondents (W). I had already planned on going to the seminar on Friday; my W took the day off of work to go as this was going to be the only time she as a respondent could go before our scheduled court mediation appointment later this month. Well, long story short, my W leaves my D3 with me, spends the afternoon hanging out with a girlfriend, arrives home late and despite my efforts to get through traffic, we miss the seminar. (Not good for my W; fortunately I can attend a make-up seminar in a few weeks.)

As I had taken the afternoon off of work, I was not happy and unfortunately I vented my irritation on the way back home. We argued and my W started making nasty comments, telling me how she didn't love or like me anymore and didn't want to rekindle anything with me period. When we got home, we started arguing about her unreasonable expectations regarding the D (especially custody of the kids) and that's when I made a comment to my W about her world crumbling all around her and her dragging me and the kids down with her. We made eye contact and for a few seconds I thought my W was going to cry before she turned away. (I know, I should have kept quiet on the way home and then afterwards. Dumb mistake.) We kept clear of each other for the remainder of the day and evening; I spent the evening with my boys while she watched tv.

The following morning (Saturday), I got the kids packed up in the car for a big Labor Day party at my Mom's. My W wasn't invited; she said previously she wasn't interested in going anyway and was planning on attending a friend's birthday shower that day. As I told my W goodbye, she gave a very terse response like she was mad. As we are driving away, D3 tells me "Daddy, Mommy is mad at you." Me: "Why is that honey?" D3: "I don't know." Huh? Anyways, we came home late last night and my W was still up- apparently she hadn't gone to her friend's baby shower after all and had spent the day cleaning house.

I don't know quite what to make of what my W has been saying and doing lately. I know I shouldn't be since I'm trying to detach completely. Can you be detached- or working on detachment- and still be curious?


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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