I randomly swung by here, curious as to whether I recognized any names, but so far only yours and a couple of others.
I realized I hadn't asked about your situation either, but it looks like some positives and negatives. Do you think that perhaps that BF just has a certain personality, and that's it? As opposed to expecting some sort of "change" - maybe that's just it?
I have personally experienced drastic and visible changes - people that previously supported my STBXW have come full-circle, and comment on how different I am. I don't see that same change in BF, especially considering that he is the one that made the most egregious mistake in having the affair.
My STBXW hasn't really made ANY changes almost at all, but expends a tremendous amount of effort in justifying her mistakes, to the point, really, where it has become the norm for her. Once an affairee desensitize themselves enough, I think they lose perspective, and rather than being truly regretful, they simply want you to quit bugging them...
I think that is the difference between true love, and just society's definition of love. I still, sadly, love my STBXW, and hope for her happiness - and I felt that way before the separation and affair. I wonder if she's ever felt love in her life.
If you've never truly loved (and I mean REAL love, not Hollywood love), how can you have suffered loss? Is that BF?
