I suggest saving your money on the motel for a week. She will need more than that. That would seem like a little vacation to her and she would not have it "rough". Staying at a motel without having to clean house, cook, wash, etc.? Are you kidding? I would love it! What woman wouldn't?

Anyway, I sure think what that C did was a very, very bad move on her part. I think that MC was not helping your stitch one bit. Everytime that C praised you for your accomplishments....it pissed your W off, right? Maybe she tried to pretend she didn't care, but she did! You are the enemy in her eyes and she doesn't want to hear anyone have anything good to say about you. (Thinking as a WAW)

Yes, she does feel like it's "work" to remain in the M. Not fair to you, but that is how she feels.

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BTW, how does the LBH differentiate between when a WAW is "cake eating" vs. being ambivalent and/or scared? Any thoughts on this?


When a WAW is cake eating, she will be affectionate as if she isn't in an EA/PA (which ever the case). She may act as if all is fine on the home front. She will basically (I think) act as she ordinarily would and that is why a lot of H's do not realize she is in an A. Now, that's my opinion. I never did any cake eating, that I'm aware of. My H knew I was as cold as the North Pole and would have nothing to do with him. Wouldn't even stay in the same room with him unless we were with family. I'm sure they could sense the tension! I never cooked for him or anything!

I think if she's scared......she will act in a nervous manner, maybe, or like she's thinking of making a big decision. Being M to somebody for a long time, you just learn to "read them". I think you would be able to tell by her body language, if nothing else. Which I guess would go for being ambivalent, as well. Those are cases where I think every personality would differ. Wish I could be more help.

I do think you are making the right decision to remain in the home. I know it's hard, but I hope you can hang with it.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!