Cuddling in bed and BF indicates he wants to ML. That's great honey but I'm just not up for anything long and involved since I'm tired/hungry/cranky. So he just says no, it's fine. So frustrating! I didn't say I didn't want to, just keep it simple. So then he wants me to tell him what I want. I WANT YOU TO STOP TALKING AND JUST DO IT! Don't worry, did not say those exact words in that tone but did convey that general idea. All's well.
I know those situations, I've been in them lots of times and I can tell you as guy, it's arousing to know a woman wants to ML to you. Finding out that a woman does not, is a pretty good turn-off. My W has said while in MC: "Why can't we just have sex? Even if I'm not in the mood, we can just have sex.." And while that's true, it's when that happens too often (like in my case) that the intimate connection between partners starts deteriorating. When my W and I stopped ML, it was because she said her feelings weren't into it, so in my mind apparently we cannot "just have sex".
I guess I am ranting on my own sitch here, and I am not saying this is happening too often in your sitch, but I am just trying to say that I understand his reaction. I would much prefer a: "Sorry, but I am completely exhausted right now so let's go to bed early tomorrow night and take our time." And then actually foolow up on it the next night. It's perfectly ok to just be honest and say you're not in the mood (as long as it's not like that every day of course! ) instead of conveying "do it quick so we can get this over with".
Just wanted to convey this guy's perspective on this, since I have been on the other side of that convo.
So... he moved back in! Learning to live together again...
) instead of conveying "do it quick so we can get this over with".