disclaimer- I have not read through this entire thread
I was once the lbs and now find myself in the position of the so called waw.
I've seen a few posts claiming that the was is the one who gave up and broke the promises made in m. What if you're just seeing it wrong? what if the LBS is the one who broke the promises and the was is the one who recognizes the break and despite trying to repair it eventually finds the lbs just isn't capable or willing to repair it so they decide that what's best for both in the end is to end the m?
Sure there are some was who are acting in pure selfishness but there are plenty who have tried and grown weary. Who eventually came to realize that the m was unhealthy and becoming a detriment to the children being raised in it. It doesn't take hitting or yelling to impact a child negatively. If mom is depressed and dad is a walking zombie but everyone tries to act like all is well for the kids that will eventually have a negative impact on them as well.
If it takes divorce to wake up a zombie then that's what it takes. Trouble is it should not have taken the true threat of divorce to wake you up.
LL
She promised to stay with me 'for better or for worse'...and she didn't. I promised to 'love, honor, and cherish' her...and I didn't. She decided that the pain of staying outweighted the pain of leaving. I wish she hadn't...but I understand that she felt like she had no other choice.
She did try, for years. I was an idiot.
It did take her leaving for me to become a better man and a better father and a better partner. It shouldn't have...but it did.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
