Stop fighting yourself here. You still have feelings for him. Stupid or not, you can't judge that and neither can anyone else. You just have to make sure you and your self respect are in tact when it's all said and done.
You fought for your marriage....when is that not a good thing?
You keep fighting for as long as you can and want to. Stop feeling bad that you are still committed to something worth fighting for. STOP. You are a good woman.